Dear Linda Ikeji,

Thank you for being a living proof to Nigerian mothers and fathers that not only doctors, lawyers and bankers can be successful;

Thank you for building a blog that has become the Nigerian version of ‘The Daily mail’ –  which we self-righteously claim we hate because it is said that it reports unsubstantiated gossip, yet when we wake up in the morning, it’s the first place we check for the news;

You encourage the young women that they can become successful through their own business ideas and by so doing you are one of the few who are helping to re-shape the world. For this I say thank you;

Thank you for proving to my fellow Nigerians that violence or the threat of violence should not be permitted for anyone at any level – from regular Nigerians to the most famous of us;

Thank you for reminding young bloggers, like myself, that having 45 views today does not mean that you cannot have millions of views tomorrow;

Finally, thank you for being successful, owning your success and encouraging us with your success.

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The etiquette of cheek pecking

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and  I am giving it. So whether you have the similar or different opinions, scroll down, have a good read and then LIKE, SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT(let me know what you think and if there is anything I have left out please let me know).

My fellow Nigerians, Wa Zo and Bia, I greet you this warm Tuesday morning. I am here again and today it  is all about this greeting habits which Nigerian who live or have been to the diaspora have brought back – Cheek pecking.

I always say a Nigerian has the uncanny power to change the ordinary to the extraordinary and that’s what we have done to pecking. We have taken what was started as a simple form of greeting and turned it into a thing of class i.e it’s like they need to peck you so that you know that they have been or lived in the diaspora(even if its Slovakia), a privilege only the rich can afford.

TBH, I am indifferent to pecking as a form of greeting (I mean, sometimes I  unconsciously do it), but I am sometimes confused by it – calm down, I will explain how. So I see an aunt for the first time in a while and she starts with a hug. She then slams are Mac ruby woo painted lips unto my beautifully blended House of Tara foundation on my right cheek, leaving her lip print colored. Being some-what familiar with pecking, I know she is coming in for another one, so I turn my cheek in for another foundation massacre. And just when I turn my face to pull back from her embrace, she goes in for a third kiss and then I tilt my head back confused but I notice she does not stop and so I quickly turn my cheek to her so it does not land on my lips. Confused too?

So after she massacred my foundation on both cheeks with her lip print, she now wants to reprint it again so I can end up looking like a clown, or what. Aunties who peck, you don’t want to leave people like us feeling very confused, scroll down so I can help your matter.

  1. When pecking was created, it was not made to be lip to cheek, instead it was made to be cheek to cheek. So stop making all we young people live in the fear of greeting you up close as you might end up turning us into clowns.
  2. So just because I said cheek on cheek does not mean you should slap your pimples and black head infested cheek against another person’s cheek. There should be a little gap(at least 5cm wide) between your cheek and the other person’s.
  3. We need to come to a conclusion and stop confusing each other How many times are we going to peck? So you have done the first cheek and then you do the second cheek, I don’t understand why you want to go a third time – if anyone knows why NIGERIANS should go a third time, please let me know in the comment section. I believe pecking three times should be done only in countries where that is the culture, not in Nigeria where this style of greeting was imported.
  4. Cheek pecking is a light kiss on another person’s cheek. So all my aunty ruby woo, please kissing so hard that you leave your lip print on people’s faces.
  5. Not everyone likes cheek pecking – so don’t feel obliged to do it!
  6. NOTE – These apply especially when you are pecking someone who you are acquainted with (it could be different when kissing a lover, immediate family or CLOSE friends)



Wa – ‘come’ in Yoruba language

Zo – ‘come’ in Hausa Language

Bia – ‘come’ in Ibo Language

TBH – To be honest

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See you next time!

The Wedding Fever Part 2 – #WODA

I woke up this morning feeling like yesterday was a dream. After I say my prayers, I get up and check my phone. I see a lot of Instagram and Facebook tags with the hashtag #WODA2017. Tunji sent me message with a link to a Bella Naija page with photos of our engagement and an epistle on the worth of my birthday present and engagement ring. After taking a shower, I remember Dapo slept over so I go and check on him in the sitting room. I don’t want to wake him because I know the only time he sleeps in is when he stays here and even at that he still sleeps late. I look at him and I can only imagine how he can deal with so much pressure at 30. This is what people do not understand, when he was younger his playboy behavior started only as a way to let off steam from all the pressure he faces having to run his father’s business in a sector that is not what he enjoys. But now, he has become more mature and has come to fully accept that he has to sacrifice his love for the practice of law to take over his father’s business due to his deteriorating health.

I peck his forehead and as I rise to nudge him awake, his both hands hold me to him and he slowly opens his eyes. “good morning ex-girlfriend, Fiance and Wife to be” he says. “good morning to you too, Husband to be. Thank you for yesterday. You have to get up now, else we will be late to church””I know I tell you this all the time and you don’t listen but you can sleep in bed with me, you don’t have to leave after  I sleep”. “you don’t know how attractive you are, do you?””if I have abstained this long for you, I don’t want to ruin it” he says. “I love you more but we have to get ready for church, go and take a shower” I say and then kiss him and head towards the bedroom and he follows behind me”

I am trying to look for something appropriate to wear since after church we are going to see his parent. I am not sure if we are going straight from church or coming home first. I ask him and he says the former is the case. I pick a knee length two color ankara dress. I discover that I am so nervous. It’s  not like I haven’t met his parents before, but it is the first time I will be introduced as a wife. I remember that I have not called my mum to tell her.  I check the time and I know she will be getting ready to go to church and so I call her. she picks up on the second ring;

“hello ma, ekaaro, se mi o disturb yin”

“No, se ko si?”

“mummy, Dapo propose si mi”

“mo mo, mama e so fun mi lana and then o ba Kabiyesi soro ni last week” she knows about my engagement to Dapo before me!  My mum and Dapo’s  mum have been friend since I was in secondary school and because of them our fathers became friends as well but this was a long time before I had even met Dapo.

“we are going to visit his parents today. I am so shy mummy.”

“better do not be shy, ki o ma lo si wawu.  you’re already a part of their family and its not your first time meeting them…..” just then Dapo walks out of the bathroom in his boxers and undershirt and heads to the bed to pick the white traditional wear I picked out for him.

“your father is ready to go to church, I will call you in the evening to find out how it goes.”

“alright, odabo ma” she hangs up immediately.

Dapo walks over to me and sits next to me on the bed. “I could not help but eaves drop into your conversation with your mum…” I try to interrupt him but he does no let me “shussh..I want you to know that I love you and that my parent love you very much so there is no need to be shy or scared” he pulls me into his embrace and immediately tranquility falls on me. he releases me and I step in front of the mirror to begin my makeup.

After spending 15 minutes looking through my eyeshadow pallete for earth tone colors, I finally finish my makeup  with a nude lipstick. Hurriedly, I put on my dress and shoes and grab my purse, then head downstairs to meet a furious looking Dapo speaking with someone on the phone. I go the kitchen to drink some water giving him time to round off his call. Just as I grab a cup to fill with water he walks in and from the look on his face, I know what he wants. I drop the cup on the work top and head towards him and into his arms for a hug. After a couple of minutes, he releases me and I see my fondation has stained his white but that does not stop me from kissing him. When I stop, I see all the fear evaporate from his face and I am scared for him. He smiles at me and I say “Don’t tell me, whatever it is, I probably don’d have a solution. go upstairs, change your clothes and then we go to church and we will tell God.” “I don’t know what I will do without you” he says and walks off.

We are driving towards Dapo’s parents house in Banana Island for brunch. Detecting how nervous I am, Dapo tries to make small talk with me. First about the lady sat in front of us and then about how he felt the sermon today was directed at him. None of these stuck except when he mentioned cooking for him.”Wonu, please can you make your jollof rice and stewed chicken this evening, you know I love nothing more than you cooking for me.” Alas, a blush started to creep up on my face.” you know I will love nothing more. So is this cooking taking place at mine or yours” I said. “please can we do it at mine, I have to be in the office at 7 tomorrow” he said. “I have court tomorrow at 10, so we have to go to mine and then the supermarket before we come back to yours” I said. “Alright” he said as he parked the car in the drive in his parents compound.

I am no longer Wonu, now I am “our wife” as Dapo’s mum called me whilst we were in the kitchen and Dapo and his dad were in the sitting room probably discussing business. This was what was going through my mind that I did not notice when Dapo parked his car outside my apartment  block. “Wife!” he tried to get my attention and I blush. “That was not all bad was it was it. See, I told you there was nothing to worry about”he said. “Thank you, I had a good time and thank you for yesterday as well. Wait in the car while I go and pick up a few things for tomorrow.


ekaaro, se mi o disturb yin – Good morning, I hope I am not disturbing you

se ko si? – I hope all is well?

Dapo propose si mi – Dapo proposed to me

mo mo, mama e so fun mi lana and then o ba Kabiyesi soro ni last week – I know, his mum told me yesterday and the he spoke to the king last week

Ki o ma si wawu –  so you don’t misbehave

Ankara – Traditional fabric

Odabo – bye

Bella Naija – A very famous lifestyle Nigerian blog

Oladapo (Dapo) – A Nigerian Name that means- a mix of wealth

Adewonuola (Wonu/Dewonu)- A Nigerian name that means – The crown entered into wealth

Tunji (Babatunji) – A Nigerian name that means – Father has returned

Adeyele – A Nigerian Name that means – This house deserves the crown



If you enjoyed that, please comment, like, subscribe and stay tuned for the next episode of The Wedding Fever series, next week.

A book review: Toke Makinwa’s On Becoming

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and although some people may feel that I am not entitled to my opinion on Toke’s marriage, I am giving it anyway. So if you one of those ‘Some people’, either you read this and eat your critique or you should probably move to the next post. But feel free to make give your own opinion of the book in the comment section below.

Rating: 8/10

She says it’s not a tell all but a must tell, I say it’s both.

I first discovered Toke Makinwa on YouTube, watching her weekly vlogs. I have since become aware of her presence in the entertainment industry and developed great admiration for her fashion sense (she kills it guys!). So naturally when I heard she wrote a book, I was both surprised and excited. When I found out the book was about her marriage, I was very curious.

On becoming, Toke Makinwa’s book, was released on Monday the 28th of November but I didn’t get around to purchasing it until Tuesday evening. On purchasing it for a sum of £4.99, I spent the next five hours reading it and I must say it was worth the read. Although the book was painted to be solely about the juice she provided on her marriage, it was so much. The underlying message of self discovery, a heart breaking loss, emotional abuse, perseverance, fear, the need for God and social stigma.

Toke tells the story of woman who was trapped in a cage, where she is surrounded by so many factors that keep her trapped. Fear is a big one of those factors. For toke fear came in different forms such as: the fear of loosing something which everyone thought was so perfect and so they envied it and something if fixed had great potential at making her happy, her relationship with Maje;  the fear of being another celebrity cliché case(the husband cheats after being married for a little over a year and then they get divorced); the fear of loosing something that in the 8 years and more that it had been, had come to define who she was; the fear of taking a decision which could potentially destroy what she had spent her life building – her career; and most for all the fear of starting over.

The second factor could have been the need to fill the void created by the devastating loss of her parents very early on in her life. This void is one that yearns for a sort of love that she was unable to receive from father due to his absence. Her love for Maje was the only thing that was able to fill this void and so she turns a blind eye to all her get out of jail (the relationship with Maje) free cards.

Another factor was society and its ability to stigmatize her if she got divorced. “What will people say?” Is a question I am sure crossed Toke’s mind several times and the negative answers she found within herself kept her jailed in her relationship with Maje. The final factor is one love, she loved Maje to a fault. I am sure if she wanted to leave at the earlier stage of their relationship, she would have been trapped because she loved him.

Some say that because this is only Toke’s point of view and there are many sides to a story, we should not judge Maje. I do not care if there are a million sides to a story, assuming all Toke said was the truth, no one deserves to be treated that way. Maje repeatedly trampled on her and her love. I am surprised she still had any love to give to him at the time they got married.

Still assuming all she said about the love triangle between herself, Maje and Anita were true, whoever coined the term ‘Yoruba demon’ must have been trying to describe the Maje from Toke’s POV. People are blaming Toke for the end of her marriage, but the only thing I blame her for was getting married to him in the first place, not ending the marriage sooner and  giving Maje another chance after she found out about Anita and her baby.

My favorite chapters were the last two; let go and let God, and healing. Those two chapters really touched me and I believe they touched other people out there. It caused a shift in my overall perception of challenges and God’s plan for us. The moral is the story is; wait on God for his direction and every challenge you face in life prepares you for the place where God has prepared for you. As Travis Greene said “God is an intentional God”, never forget that he has a plan for you.

The only critique I have for the book is that it could have been less juicy. There were so many things that did not need to be said. We live in a society where the truth is hard and the whole truth is even harder. As such when we have the whole truth, we wait for the teller of the truth to make a mistake so we can point accusing fingers at them.

Lets us give it to Toke, she really did turn lemons into lemonade with her book because not only did she make money from the sale of her book, she also touched lives. Toke, you go girl!

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Photo credit: Google Images

The Wedding Fever Part 1- The Proposal

I have mental image of what the bella Naija post for our wedding will be; Son of billionaire oil tycoon, Oladapo Doherty weds Only Daughter of Financial guru, CEO and Oba, Princess Adewonuola Adeyele. I know that this will be the society wedding of the year and I think Dapo knows it too. He already set the ball rolling with his over the top proposal, dare I say OVER THE TOP. He proposed to me during a surprise birthday party he planned for me at his home in Ikoyi.

My birthday was on a Saturday, Dapo had suggested we go out of the country for the weekend but I refused. I have to be in court on Monday and going out of the country on Friday to be back on Monday, in my opinion is a waste of money, so I told him we could go later in the year perhaps sometime in May(he hates to travel during the summer holidays). He told me had somethings to attend to with his dad that morning and so he would take me to dinner in the evening at 8. At 8, I heard my door open and I knew he had arrived. He called out for me to meet him downstairs. As I descend the stairs in my stoned ankara dress and sky high suede Louboutin shoes, he gives me a smile of approval, walks up to me and gives me a long hard kiss and presents me with a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers I have seen in a while. I think to myself that moments like these make me forget how tumultuous our relationship has been in the two years we dated. we head for the door and into his car to drive to a destination I did not know.

10 minutes into the car journey, I notice Dapo is a little ridiculously quiet and so I try to get a location out of him but he does not bulge. Instead he gives me a really mischievous grin that has me wondering what he is really up to. He drives on the Lekki Ikoyi bridge and then I begin to wonder why we are headed towards Ikoyi. I notice we are now driving towards his house, so I say “Dapo, are we going to your house?”. He is about to answer when his phone rings(later I find out that it is my cousin and business partner,Tunji calling to check how close we were to his house).Leaving my earlier question unanswered, he drives his Mercedes convertible into his compound. He tells me to come into the house, that he just needs to pick something up. I get down from the car and he immediately grabs my hand and leads me to the back entrance and before I can ask why, he leads me towards the back stair and says “sorry, I forgot the keys to the front door upstairs”. We come out through a door next to his sitting room upstairs. He opens the door and tells me to walk in (I should have suspected something was up but he always lets me go through door first…such a gentleman). I walk further into the room, to find the whole room littered with rose petals , similar to the ones he had given me earlier and when I turn back to ask what going on I find him on one knee and I gasp in surprise.

“Dewonu, thank you first for agreeing to be my friend and later for agreeing to date me. I know a lot of people see me and think oh! he is a play boy but thank you for seeing the real me. I love you dearly and it has been that way for a very long time, even when I said you were only my friend. I know forever is a long time, but I want to continue to love you forever, Please say you’ll let me by marrying me”. I spent the whole time staring at him with my mouth open and disbelief in my eyes. I go on my knees to join him, I kiss him and with tears in my eyes, I hug him and say yes!. Just as I pull back for him to put the ring on my finger, I hear a loud group of people yell surprise and then flashes from camera’s taking pictures. I smile so hard that I think my mouth is about to fall off. I stare into his eyes and give him a kiss for everyone to see. He gets up and pulls me up and into his embrace and then we all head down towards the stairs. Through people clapping and cheering us as we went  and a large group behind. We down to the siting area where there we a lot of our mutual friends, my friends and his friends . I immediately spot Tunji and he gives me a bear hug(it has me remembering when Dapo was so jealous of my relationship with Tunji because he taught we were dating).

After going around to greet everyone, Dapo pulls me away and takes me back to a smaller sitting area downstairs. He hands me a bag with a wrapped present inside. I sit down and does the same beside me. I carefully unwrap the present and its a suede, maroon red rectangular box with a Cartier Logo on the front. I look at him and he tells me to open it. I do, and I find a platinum bracelet with similar diamonds as the ring. He takes it from me and turns it over. I see an inscription and I read it, it says; “Thank you for letting me love you forever – love Dapo”. At this moment I could not love him more than I did. He takes it from me and put is on my right wrist.

“Dapo when you do things like this, how am I meant to beat it?, Thank you so much” I lean in to kiss him and he returns my kiss and says”you have already beating it by saying yes”. He leans in and continues to kiss me. The kiss gets deeper and deeper and I stop him. “I know you asked me to marry you and I said yes, it does not change the fact that I am going to remain a virgin until we go to the …..” Before I finish, he cuts in and says “I know and I don’t want to change that for anything in the world”. At this point he is body is covering almost half of mine on the couch, just Dapo is about to get up, Tunji walks in. “I hope I am not interrupting anything but its time for you to cut your cake”Tunji says awkwardly looking away from us. “OMG, we were not even doing anything”Dapo and I laugh. I kiss Dapo and he tells me that it was Tunji on the phone earlier and that they planned it together. I smile and walk over to Tunji and give him a hug. “I can’t believe you are 27 and getting married”. we all laugh and head towards the rest of the party. I go out to find a very nice cake with 27 candles already lit and the rest is history.


Oba – King

Oladapo (Dapo) – A Nigerian Name that means- a mix of wealth

Adewonuola (Wonu/Dewonu)- A Nigerian name that means – The crown entered into wealth

Tunji (Babatunji) – A Nigerian name that means – Father has returned

Adeyele – A Nigerian Name that means – This house deserves the crown


If you enjoyed that, please comment, like, subscribe and stay tuned for the next episode of The Wedding Fever series, next week.



HAIR DRESSING EXPERIENCE 1: The search for greener pastures over the seas

It is the popular belief here in West Africa that any country “over the seas” is a land where is pastures are greener than green and the milk is whiter than white. This blog post is intended to burst your bubble.

About a year ago, I was braiding my hair at one of those pako kiosk salon. Whilst braiding my hair, the hair dresser was conversing with another hair dresser, who was visiting, about traveling to an overseas country and here’s a summary of what the other lady says;I heard there is a guy that can help me arrange a passport and visa for fifty thousand Naira, I will travel to the country for six months. My uncle’s family friend lives in that country, so I  will live with him and make braids for people for a living, I hear that hair dressers earn a lot abroad. I will not spend my money on clothes or food, I will just pick them from the trash. I heard that they wear their clothes for only two months, after which they throw it in the bin. After six months I will come back with all the money I made and the first thing I will do is build a new shop with air conditioning and then I will buy a range rover car and build a house. But the truth is that I cannot afford the ticket.

hmm! I believe, like my hair dresser’s friend so many people believe that the journey to greener pasture and from greener pastures to wealth works like this, but it does not. Let me show you everything I believe is wrong with what she said.

1. Fifty thousand Naira for a passport with a visa in it! sister and brother, it’s either it is a stolen or forged passport or you’re about to be trafficked to another country and you do not know it.To get a passport in Nigeria, you have to apply for one at the National immigration service nearest to you. On obtaining a passport, you can then apply for a visa at the country’s embassy.

2. Six months! On a visiting visa, most countries like the UK do not allow you stay more than 3 months at a stretch, so that plan to stay for six months may not be feasible depending on the country.

3. Working on a visiting Visa – in most countries, I gather this is illegal. That’s all I will say

4. They throw their clothes in the dustbin after wearing it for only 2 months – whoever told her that does not fear God. what kind of lie is that! When people in the diaspora want to dispose an item that they have worn for only 2 months that is still in wearable condition, they give it to charity not throw it in the bin. Life in the diaspora is already hard enough, with all the tax and bills they have to pay, the last thing the majority are, is wasteful.

5. Returning with the money she makes – I think there is a maximum amount of money a person is allowed to travel with. Now if she would be able to make enough money to build a house, buy a range rove and build a new shop(which I do not think is possible in a six month period), she cannot travel with all that cash at once. As such she will have to leave some with “her uncle’s family friend”. How can she be certain that he will make do on his promise to send her all her money as soon as she is back on her home soil.


Pako – wood

These are just some of the things I believe are wrong with that lady’s theory. if there is anything I have said that is not quite accurate or anything I have missed out, please comment below or send me an email to let me know.

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Disclaimer – before some of us start reading this and critiquing my fashion sense, I am no fashion guru, this is only my opinion written for your entertainment, so turn off your inner critic.

One thing I love about going into a new year, is that it gives the illusion that you can start afresh- be a part of something new, like a redemption. So, as we go into this New Year, I have decided that I will give some of my brothers out there a chance to redeem their dress sense.

I am no saint neither have I perfected art of formal attire, so trust me when I say this does not come from place of self-righteousness – TBH, I have also made some mistakes. But the beauty of making mistakes is the ability to correct them, so let’s dive in.

  1. Pattern on pattern – My guys, bobos and sweethearts, why-o- why do you wear a patterned tie with a patterned shirt (the fact that they are the same color is not a silent permission for you to pair them!). Why-o-why were you wearing a heavily patterned shirt with a pin striped suit – my guy you look like a walking circus.
  1. No socks sucks – Ken (can in a Ghanaian accent) you please explain to me why you’re a two or three piece suit without socks – unacceptable (note – it’s still unacceptable if you’re wearing only the suit pants and a shirt). Ok, I understand if you do this when you’re wearing a pair of jeans or chinos with a blazer and you decide you against socks. But plix (please) have mercy on the sisters and brother out there who still fancy a suit rocked APPROPRIATELY!
  1. The office pants – There is no excuse under the sun for a guy to wear chinos or those cream velvet looking and denim feeling trousers to work when the dress code says formal attire only(except on casual Friday). I don’t even want to dwell too long on this subject, just STOPPET!
  1. The shades effect – so today you leave your house feeling cool with yourself, you paired brown Feragamo belt(inherited from brother Tunde) and brown Gucci brogue shoes(you finally just collected it from the shop after you’ve been paying for it over the last 20 months) with Woro Taiwo made dark blue suit, over starched white shirt(laundered at Baba Ima dry cleaners) and your TM Lewin Tie, cufflinks and pocket square set – you think you have arrived, but from a sister to a brother, you did not arrive, you only returned. The feragamo belt and Gucci shoes are more than 10 shades of brown apart and so you end up looking like a JJC- brothers watch out!
  1. Buckled belts – After a certain age (preferably 15) over the top buckled belts are an unpardonable fashion crime. I think it’s your choice to wear it, but abeg don’t bring it to the suit. THOU SHALL NOT WEAR AN OVER THE TOP BUCKLED BELY WITH A SUIT – sorry uncle, we know you can afford it. It does not make you look wealthy, instead it only looks TACKY


JJC(jolly just come) – newbie

TBH- to be honest

Abeg – please

bobos(plural bobo) – Nigerian slang meaning ‘guy’

STOPPET – Stop it

Ken – can (in a Ghanaian accent)

Plix – please

Tunde (Babatunde)- Nigerian name which means ‘father has come back again’

Baba Ima (Baba Emmanuel) – Emmanuel’s Father.

Thank you for reading. please feel free to remind me of some horrible formal wear DONTS I may have missed out.

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