Disclaimer – before some of us start reading this and critiquing my fashion sense, I am no fashion guru, this is only my opinion written for your entertainment, so turn off your inner critic.
One thing I love about going into a new year, is that it gives the illusion that you can start afresh- be a part of something new, like a redemption. So, as we go into this New Year, I have decided that I will give some of my brothers out there a chance to redeem their dress sense.
I am no saint neither have I perfected art of formal attire, so trust me when I say this does not come from place of self-righteousness – TBH, I have also made some mistakes. But the beauty of making mistakes is the ability to correct them, so let’s dive in.
- Pattern on pattern – My guys, bobos and sweethearts, why-o- why do you wear a patterned tie with a patterned shirt (the fact that they are the same color is not a silent permission for you to pair them!). Why-o-why were you wearing a heavily patterned shirt with a pin striped suit – my guy you look like a walking circus.
- No socks sucks – Ken (can in a Ghanaian accent) you please explain to me why you’re a two or three piece suit without socks – unacceptable (note – it’s still unacceptable if you’re wearing only the suit pants and a shirt). Ok, I understand if you do this when you’re wearing a pair of jeans or chinos with a blazer and you decide you against socks. But plix (please) have mercy on the sisters and brother out there who still fancy a suit rocked APPROPRIATELY!
- The office pants – There is no excuse under the sun for a guy to wear chinos or those cream velvet looking and denim feeling trousers to work when the dress code says formal attire only(except on casual Friday). I don’t even want to dwell too long on this subject, just STOPPET!
- The shades effect – so today you leave your house feeling cool with yourself, you paired brown Feragamo belt(inherited from brother Tunde) and brown Gucci brogue shoes(you finally just collected it from the shop after you’ve been paying for it over the last 20 months) with Woro Taiwo made dark blue suit, over starched white shirt(laundered at Baba Ima dry cleaners) and your TM Lewin Tie, cufflinks and pocket square set – you think you have arrived, but from a sister to a brother, you did not arrive, you only returned. The feragamo belt and Gucci shoes are more than 10 shades of brown apart and so you end up looking like a JJC- brothers watch out!
- Buckled belts – After a certain age (preferably 15) over the top buckled belts are an unpardonable fashion crime. I think it’s your choice to wear it, but abeg don’t bring it to the suit. THOU SHALL NOT WEAR AN OVER THE TOP BUCKLED BELY WITH A SUIT – sorry uncle, we know you can afford it. It does not make you look wealthy, instead it only looks TACKY
- THE LAST COMMANDMENT – WHEN IN DOUBT STICK TO PLAIN SHIRTS(PREFERRABLY WHITE), SIMPLE TIES AND POCKET SQUARES, BLACK SOCKS, SUITS THAT DON’T NEED BELTS(if worse comes worse wear a black belt) AND DARK SUIT COLOURS.
JJC(jolly just come) – newbie
TBH- to be honest
Abeg – please
bobos(plural bobo) – Nigerian slang meaning ‘guy’
STOPPET – Stop it
Ken – can (in a Ghanaian accent)
Plix – please
Tunde (Babatunde)- Nigerian name which means ‘father has come back again’
Baba Ima (Baba Emmanuel) – Emmanuel’s Father.
Thank you for reading. please feel free to remind me of some horrible formal wear DONTS I may have missed out.