HAIR DRESSING EXPERIENCE – home service or home safice

I often wonder why certain hair dressers are so badly behaved. Before hair dressers, whose profession I respect, come for me for being the bad customer (and so deserving of the bad experience, read the highlighted points below first.

  1. I invited a hairdresser to provide her services for me at home. She told me over the phone that she would be along at a certain time but she unapologetically waltzes in a whole hour after the time she promised.
  2. At some point, I noticed she had put too much pull on my baby hairs to weave the cornrows – y’all know how uncomfortable that can be and so I told her to correct that on the future cornrows she would weave.
  3. When I raise my hand with a mirror in it to make sure that she is weaving what exactly I wanted, she smacked my hand down and then made up some silly superstitious BS – She said that her weaving will get slower if I look at her weaving in the mirror. I concede to stop her from giving this an excuse for spending so much time on my hair
  4. Half way through weaving my hair, I excuse myself to go the bathroom where I see the cornrows are not taking the shape that they are supposed to. I tell her and instead of conceding that she did not know how to make the style I want (or trying to correct the mistake she made) she continued with the mistake I had corrected her about and so I end up with a hairstyle that is very ugly and is not in any way what I want.
  5. Whilst she was making my hair, I ran out of my a bottle of R&R luxury coconut oil and so I got another  one. Can you believe that she went ahead to take away the spray bottle, even though I told her I wanted to use it?
  6. At the end, despite not satisfying my demands and stealing(or whatever you might like to call taking what does not belong to you) from me, she had the audacity to ask for a full payment –  which I most definitely did not give her – I paid her 500 naira less (let me know if you would have done otherwise in the comment section or by email).

Here is one for all those hair dresser that are not that different from our aunty home safice above:

  1. Don’t try to wing it (a.k.a freestyle) – If you know you cannot meet your customer’s hair style demands, tell them before you begin to weave their hair. This is so that the customer can either change their mind or accept blame if they insist on making it and you don’t get it right.
  2. Freestyle-er – If you do decide to wing it against the customer’s knowledge and it is works out – good for you! If it does not work out, don’t expect full payment from the client after all, you did not meet their demands.
  3. Claim-ist – Just because my hair oil or hair cream finishes, or I have left over extensions or tracks, does not mean it automatically belongs to you. Haba, did you buy it with your own money? – as long as don’t have the customer’s permission, taking it is stealing. Don’t say because 365 blog says do not take it until you have permission to validates you to ask the customer – No it does not. Except the customer is about to throw it away, don’t ask – you are not entitled to  it and asking can sometimes put the customer in an uncomfortable position.
  4. Over familiarity – In the words of Jay Ru – ‘ye ma form familiarity’……just stoppet!
  5.  Keep appointments – This applies to both parties, not just the hairdressers. And if you know you can’t make it for the time you originally scheduled, the other party should be contacted.

 

Please like, subscribe and comment(let me know your own home safice or other hair dressing experience – you can also email me!)

Glossary 

safice – service (as pronounced by some people of the yoruba tribe of Nigeria)

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Shoboroko says: Are Wizkid and Davido fighting for 2face idibia’s title?

Like rice, cubed sugar, the accents of almost every OAP on Lagos radio stations, pointy nose, and 75.97% of the things that were on the shelves before the 2014 recession, Nigerians have gone again to import something new,  it’s the concept of having a baby mama. So for a very long time, it has not been strange to find women who have had children for a man out of wedlock, but lately the game has changed to invent the title, Baby Mama. Yes! Baby Mama, just like you will refer to a person with a doctorate degree as Doctor (Dr), and a divorced woman as Ms, you can now refer to a woman who had a child for a celebrity either whilst they were in a relationship or as a result of a one, two, three or four nights stand as a Baby Mama(Bm)…….hehehehhhehehhhehhehehehheheh, even monkey won dey relevant.

Before the arrival of this trend and its miraculous inclusion in our regular honorifics, it was popular knowledge that musician, 2Face Idibia, had had children with different women. However, in those not too distant days, the identities and profile of these women were kept low-key and the news of 2face’s exploits were neither publicised or celebrated. How times have changed? In about the same space of time, celebrities Davido, Wizkid, and Olamide announced,separately, that they were expecting their first set of offspring from women who suddenly started to carry the Baby Mama(BM) title, and that was how all began. As with all other trends, it started to spread quickly such that we started to hear of other musicians having baby mamas (even those women who had their children 10 years early were now been listed on the “10 ten hottest celebrity Baby mamas” list), and of course, we spread the trend to the rest of Africa, even to the far corners of Tanzania.

As usual, we not only copy, but we also copy and update or simply just over-use the trend, either to make up for the time the’trend’ took before it got to us or to secure our sense of identity as Nigerians. Same goes for this BM trend, of course we had to over-do it. Why not! I mean we probably already eat more rice than Thailand; an average Nigerian woman’s nose at an Owambe is pointier than Pinocchio’s; our OAPs sound whiter than the whites( with more nose-speaking effects than people from Essex); with Lasagna running out before garri on our store shelves; and finally our celebrities with more children born out of wedlock than born in wedlock, and a collection of baby mamas ranging in size, shapes, tribes and skin color who are featured on lifestyle magazines without any real reason for being celebrated

No, I’m not angry, not at all, I’m just sad. Sad because:

I wonder if these women understand, that for this two-word status, all of the possible consequences that this could have on their child if they eventually decide the get married to another man. It will mean that the public already knows that he/she is not you new husband, who you may have asked him/her to call daddy, is not his real father before he is old enough to differentiate between what is real and is not.  it will mean that no matter how hard you and that new Mr. try to make him as much a part of the family, he will always feel like an outsider – especially if you go on to have other kids.

These women have once again shown women as, indeed, the weaker sex, who are content with their sole purpose in life being to bear a mans child to secure their livelihood. They set a standard that is so low and hence will validate men calling hardworking and career driven women as “bitches”.

That these men, have not only shown to other young men that there is nothing wrong with having unprotected sex.

These men have shown that having a child is something to be done when you are wealthy enough to provide for them, rather than when you are responsible enough to provide a secure and loving environment for a child to grown unscathed.

Society has helped these men validate their masculinity through their show of prolificity, by publicly celebrating them and by giving these women social relevance for bearing children for these celebrities….or yeye-brities as I like to call them.

Together, when they, one day, have to tell the stories to their children, the first impression that such a child will have of themselves is that ‘it is public knowledge that I am a result of sex, not love’

——–If I must say so, shout out to all the real baby mothers out there. I mean those who did not deliberately have their children to obtain the Bm status; those who fell victim of circumstance and did not deliberately go out of their way to get pregnant for men because of how much they have in their accounts; those who do not rely 100% on their children’s father to survive; those who were led on to make certain choices based solely on the deceitful ways of the Demons out there and those who may have at some point considered abortion but decided to go ahead to have the child and still provide a good environment for their child to grow.